I had never heard of Dietrich Bonhoeffer until a friend mentioned he was reading a massive, 600 page biography.

He told me it was about a Christian in Nazi Germany who not only participated in a plot to assassinate Hitler, but ran illegal seminaries, wrote foundational works that influence our modern day church, and was murdered just weeks before the end of World War II.

I devoured the book. Pages and pages have been written about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, his theological works, and even his influence on modern day Christianity. For a riveting, comprehensive summary of Bonhoeffer’s life and work, I encourage you to read the biography.

BUT, this is not a post about Bonhoeffer’s accomplishments. This is an appraisal of the first few chapters that describe the Bonhoeffer household and the upbringing that Dietrich and his siblings received. The Bonhoeffers had 8 children and many of them went on to accomplish extraordinary things:

a theological giant, martyr, and director of illegal seminaries in Nazi Germany

an award winning physicist who worked with Albert Einstein and Max Planck to split the atom

a neurophysiologist

an attorney that participated in the assassination plot against Hitler

multiple members of the German resistance to the Nazis

I wondered…how did the Dietrich’s parents, Karl & Paula Bonhoeffer, raise their children in ways that produced men and women of deep character AND intellect?

What was their home life like?
What was their education like?
Are there lessons that we can learn and apply to our own family learning environment from this extraordinary family?

This post attempts to answer those questions based on the history provided by Eric Metaxas’s bestseller, Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

1. What was their home life like?

A deep and rich family culture emanated from the parents.

Dietrich’s mother, Paula Bonhoeffer, was “the soul and spirit of the house.” She was an educator and homeschooled the children until they were 8 or 9 years old. She cared deeply about training her children in academic and critical thinking. She also gave them a firm foundation in biblical thinking. She taught them the fundamentals of Christian faith, spurred them intellectually, and created family traditions. She came from a lineage of pastors and theologians, but her faith was highly personal and practical. She believed in a faith that was evident in daily life.

Karl Bonhoeffer, the father, spurred the family intellectually. He was at the head of his field in Germany, holding a chair position at the University and also director of the hospital for nervous diseases. He was both highly logical and intellectual, but interestingly also had “a genuine respect for the limits of reason.” Despite his own numerous accomplishments, he taught his family to value humility and simplicity.

He fully supported his wife’s training and teaching of their children in Christian life. Karl also shaped the types of thinking and communicating in the Bonhoeffer house. “There was a strong atmosphere in his home against fuzzy thinking” AND sloppy speech. If the children had something they wanted to say, they were expected to say it, but with carefully chosen words. He expected well thought out answers and respectful discourse at all times. The children “loved and respected him in a way that made them eager to gain his approval…”

Together, the Bonhoeffer parents were a force to be reckoned with. They had a solid marriage (they were apart less than a month their entire 50 years of marriage), they each brought their personal and professional strengths into their home, and they also used humor. They had high expectations of their children, but also showed kindness and fair judgment. Their heritage cultivated a rich family culture: “The family trees of Karl & Paula Bonhoeffer are… so laden with figures of accomplishment that one might expect future generations to be burdened by it all. But the welter of wonderfulness that was their heritage seems to have been a boon, one that buoyed them up so that each child seems not only to have stood on the shoulders of giants, but also to have danced on them.”

But, the house was NOT always serious!

The parents gave the children younger years of wholesome, free FUN. They dug caves, climbed trees, put up tents, and played in the garden. They skated on a makeshift ice rink their father made for them in the yard. They changed an outbuilding into a zoo and created a room in the house for a museum of their nature collections and another for a workshop.

Music was an important part of the Bonhoeffer family culture. Their children, especially Dietrich, arranged and composed. They were “a deeply musical family” and held “musical evenings” each Saturday night. On these ritual evenings, which went on for many years, each child had to present something. They invited family and friends and gave performances for special occasions like birthdays, going away parties, or holidays.

Connection was highly valued. Family members and friends visited often, and Dietrich remained so close to his parents and family that he called them often. He consulted his parents before big decisions throughout his life.

“The Bonhoeffers were that terribly rare thing: a genuinely happy family…”

2. What was their education like?

It’s difficult to distinguish descriptions of the Bonhoeffer home from the Bonhoeffer education because they were so inextricably intertwined. They received a diverse mix of formal AND informal education that taught them to think academically, critically, and biblically.

Homeschooling & Classical Education

The Bonhoeffer children were homeschooled in their early years. Paula was “openly distrustful of the German public schools and their Prussian educational methods” and believed that she should care for them during their earliest years. While at home they memorized poems, hymns, folk songs, created plays, performed puppet theater, and dived deeply into topics of their own interest.

Later, the children attended a local school that used a classical education model. A classical education is based on a three part model that builds upon a child’s learning capacity over time. The early years are spent absorbing information and laying the foundation for advanced studies. The middle school years focus on logic and argument, and in high school the focus is rhetoric–learning to express themselves through writing and speaking with excellence and originality. A classical education views all knowledge as interrelated and works to integrate different subject matters. This philosophy heavily emphasizes history, and highlights ancient Greek and Roman cultures due to their prolific influence on the modern world. Classical education even stems from these cultures, where thinkers like Aristotle and Plato taught that education should develop the whole person, including moral virtues and intellect. The school the Bonhoeffer children attended learned classical history, art, literature, and even used pictures of the Roman forum for classroom decoration.

The values of a classical education were matched in the Bonhoeffer home. Close mindedness wasn’t tolerated–they came to decisions based on evidence and thoughtful discussion. They were also taught to control their emotions: “Emotionalism, like sloppy communication, was thought to be self-indulgent.” Both parents modeled a sense of perspective, of staying cool and not emotionally reacting to a new thought or point of view. They didn’t ascribe to a single political viewpoint, they “seemed to have the best of what we might today think of as conservative AND liberal values, of traditional AND progressive ones.”

Biblical Thinking & Daily Christian Living

All of the Bonhoeffer children were educated in biblical thinking and daily Christian living. The Bonhoeffer’s Christianity was “mostly of the homegrown variety.” Their normal, everyday life included bible readings and hymn singing. Paula taught the children to revere God’s word, and tried to read bible stories straight from the actual text, only using illustrated children’s versions for an occasional picture. Her faith was also evident in the values that she and her husband cultivated: “Exhibiting selflessness, expressing generosity, and helping others were central to the family culture.”

Their mother’s faith “spoke for itself, it lived in actions and was evident in the way she put others before herself and taught her children to do the same. There was no place for false piety or any king of bogus religiosity in our home.” Her influence on Dietrich’s theology and walk with God was so profound that Metaxis suggests that Dietrich’s famous idea of “cheap grace” may have originated in her humble example.

Essentially, the Bonhoeffer’s taught their family the basic tenets of the Christian faith AND how to live them out practically. The same intellectual culture of respectful discourse and thoughtful argument included topics of theology and the Word, so the children learned to reason and evaluate their biblical ideas to the same extent as discussions of any other topic.

3. Are there lessons that we can learn and apply today from this extraordinary family?

Absolutely! While we live in a different era, there are timeless approaches to a home learning environment that are low cost and high impact that we can apply from the Bonhoeffer family. I think this biography’s description of Dietrich’s upbringing resonated so deeply with me, because it mirrors many of the education values I share through Thriving Little Thinkers:

High expectations are beneficial when they are paired with connection and the right amount of support. High expectations abounded in the Bonhoeffer family, but there was also love, respect, and humor. We know from modern day research that connection is critical for young children to feel safe and secure to learn grow and challenge themselves. They effectively “scaffolded” for their children; they created an optimal learning zone by building a loving, supportive family environment in which they knew their children and challenged them appropriately.
Parents are ultimately responsible for their child’s education in character AND academics. The Bonhoeffers did not relinquish spiritual training of their children to the church. They didn’t assume that the public schools were the best option available to them, nor did they rely only on homeschooling for the entirety of their children’s education. They thoughtfully considered their children’s needs and made decisions based on that, not on convenience. They made intentional choices about education opportunities.
Modeling is a crucial part of raising biblical, academic, and critical thinkers. The Bonhoeffers modeled great character and intellect. Not only did their parents model what they wanted for their children, the family was immersed in a community of extended family and friends that esteemed the values they taught their children. So not only were the parents modeling Christian living, moral values, and intellectual pursuits, other adults in their life were doing the same. While some might call it social pressure to perform, there is a great amount of neurophysiological and psychological evidence behind the draw to adapt to your given group or tribe. Truly, more is caught than taught.
Play is essential for raising focused, thriving little thinkers. It is beneficial for our children to become engrossed in a task–and the most typical flow experience for children is PLAY! The children’s play was described as intense and happened for long expanses of time. They had a rural summer home with no electricity where they spent time reading and “dug trenches and went for hikes in the vast pine woods to search for wild strawberries, onions, and mushrooms.” They performed plays in the evenings, ball games, guessing games, sang songs, and enjoyed nature. One home had an acre of gardens and grounds where they played, explored, planted, and even raised animals.
Raising thinkers doesn’t require you to break the bank. Some of the most high impact activities for building brains actually cost little to nothing. The Bonhoeffers climbed trees, played in the garden, read books, and performed their own plays. They didn’t have the “latest and greatest” of a learning toy or computer program. The children learned by exploration and play under the guidance of engaged adults.
Biblical thinking is tied to critical thinking and academic thinking. Dietrich and his family often discussed theology and biblical ideas about Christian living at the dinner table. Biblical thinking sees academic and critical thinking through a biblical lens–understanding that God gave us our brains and all forms of thinking as ways to know and love him better. While many people separate theology from education (rooted in our division of church and state funded educational programs), our theology and understanding of the gospel give meaning to our thoughts and the actions we take based on those thoughts.
- Academic thinking supports biblical thinking. Knowing how to read the bible, understand numbers, memorize and meditate on important biblical content, grasp historical context, understand translations–all of these require a basic academic foundation. Biblical literacy, gospel fluency, and memorizing scripture are necessarily tied to academic thinking skills. But academic thinking isn’t an end point.
- Critical thinking supports biblical thinking. “…Bonhoeffer was no mere academic. For him, ideas and beliefs were nothing if they did not relate to the world of reality outside one’s mind.” It’s one thing to read a text and it’s another thing to evaluate text, compare and contrast with cultural ideas, and apply that truth to today’s dilemma. “In our increasingly secular society, young people are exposed to a plethora of ideas that counter the truths of the Bible. They need critical thinking skills to discern falsehood and make reasoned arguments for their faith (2 Cor 10:5).” Sophia Auld. 1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 tells us to “Test all things; hold fast to what is good. Abstain from every form of evil.” So how do we “test all things?” By wisely comparing and contrasting the ideas of the world and the truths of God’s words.

A few caveats on context

I am NOT saying that every family needs to use the Bonhoeffer household as an ideal or checklist of how to raise successful children. I’m simply intrigued that the methods infusing their home life and education life were not at odds but each fueled the other and in turn the environment was rich, fertile soil for raising thinkers of great character.

There are a few caveats to the Bonhoeffer lifestyle, neither negative or positive, but context for understanding the learning environment:

They lived before the advancement of technology that so easily ransacks modern day households and derails focused attention or sustained thinking. Social media and internet use today in our homes is difficult to curtail for both adults and children. The result is a downward trend in our ability to focus well, a critical foundation for thinking well and solving problems. While it is still possible to create homes where our children’s focus isn’t derailed by shiny digital distractions, it is an added layer of parental consideration that the Bonhoeffers didn’t have to consider.
The household help included a governess, nursemaid, a housemaid, parlor maid, and cook. This likely provided Mrs. Bonhoeffer with more time to plan, educate, and guide the household culture. A household staff isn’t possible for most families I know, but it also doesn’t negate the high quality of the environment. The richness of learning described in their home can be done without a posse of helpers and it certainly doesn’t require immense wealth.
The Bonhoeffer children had impactful learning experiences beyond their childhood. As parents, I think it is important to remember that our children are heavily influenced by our investment in their home life but what they choose to do with it is beyond our grasp. It isn’t always feasible for us to take our school aged children overseas on an immersive cultural expedition or attend monthly arts performances when you’re on a tight budget. We can, however, light a fire of curiosity that propels them forward to create their own lifelong learning experiences. After leaving home, the Bonhoeffer children chose to pursue additional lifelong learning through travel, expansive reading, writing, interesting job opportunities, discussion groups, playing instruments, exposing themselves to culture through ballets, operas, plays, etc. These self-initiated opportunities undoubtedly impacted the great outcomes of their professional and personal lives.
And finally, the Bonhoeffers were immersed in a rich like-minded community of family and friends that esteemed the many of the same values they taught their children. Being immersed in a like minded community is possible today, but not always as common. For those involved in a local church this environment can be more easily attained, but in terms of valuing intellectual thought and high moral values, our post modern society can be very isolating indeed. It is difficult, but worth the effort to find a like minded community for yourself and your family.

Conclusion

Karl and Paula Bonhoeffer were parents strong in faith, intellect, and personal character. They had a strong marriage. They valued education not for vanity but for understanding. They valued discourse and evidence-based reasoning and decision making. They valued service to others. Most of all, they valued their family.

A strong marriage of two individuals of character can create a household that shapes the values AND intellect of its members.